Drowning

Drowning

by

Rossyam Hadi

- drowning -

i felt like love

stronger

an escape

i wish

after tonight

chapter in a book

free like a bird

life for me

out of the dark

lost the battle

find my way

the sun

- credits -

thank you so much for all the love and support that i got. i hope you can find yourself and your freedom for eternity. always stay true to your authentic self. may God bless our journey and may we win the battle.

love, rossyam.

---

i felt like love

every time

our eyes meet,

I see me in you,

I ask for a flower,

you give me your world

you make me yours

without any vow.

with you,

I put my guard down

and surrender myself

to be explore

and treasure

completely.

true love never exist,

I just need someone

to be the reason.

even if by mistake

or fate,

you are destined for me.

is this love?

I feel like it.

---

stronger

I step into a maze

alone by myself with

the thought of you,

I allowed my heart to

let love lead the way.

I know it's not easy

to feel in love

with my imperfections,

but you still smile

and call me baby.

through the crowds

I see you standing,

ready to catch my tears

and my downfall.

the bond that we build,

I owed you much,

egos and jealously can't kill us

cause our love is stronger,

nothing can drown us.

---

an escape

it's hard

to be us

against the world

but you come in

and

give me one

to escape to.

you paint the walls,

buy good sheets,

giving your best

for us

to lay in peace.

it's our little secret,

our own paradise

where

I can sleep

all day long

in your arms.

no one can take

what's ours.

---

i wish

I wish

I could read you

like an open book

without any hidden meaning,

everything's crystal clear.

I could throw you

all these words

but it's pointless,

you will never catch it.

the love that you give

is enough to awakes me,

thought it wasn't enough to

completes me.

I will find you

when I found myself,

by setting you free

will free me.

not too long ago

 I found myself

in you.

---

after tonight

the night's breeze

passing

through my bones

while I'm

holding my tears.

time pass fast,

so fast

that I've

taken for granted,

I want

time to freeze.

after you left,

the space

become bigger

and emptier,

it's funny that

I would miss

the crowded room.

what's missing in my life

is you,

I swear

I will love you more

after tonight,

if it's not too late.

---

chapter in a book

if

you only knew

the times

I drown in my sadness

over you

again, and again.

I wonder why

you always keep me

at the end

of a rope

that keeps getting shorter.

I give you

the hardest goodbye

you ever had,

now

every night,

you will crave for my touch.

you say to me

that I'm just

another chapter

in a book

that you've read,

but the ending

between us

will still be a mystery.

---

free like a bird

you give me wings,

teach me how to fly

as if

I won't fly away from you.

you keep me inside,

I have never seen

the blue skies

and sparking stars.

you let me drown

in your lust

that full with hopes and dreams,

just like fairly tales,

nothing is real.

love me as I am,

give me what I deserve,

don't let me slip away

from your fingertips.

the pain won't go away,

unless if you

let me lose myself,

free like a bird,

I will be.

---

life for me

often,

I forget that

you love me, for me,

I hope I can love myself

like you do.

the sky are rough

but the storm

won't stop me from

living the life.

tired of chasing

the darkness inside,

I've been searching somewhere out there

for what been missing here.

I can't save

me from myself,

I need some time

to heal.

I want to

find my freedom

and soul

for eternity.

---

out of the dark

it’s never easy

to feel secure,

I dig the deep cave,

hiding sins and insecurities,

afraid of the light.

they push me away

for to have the feelings,

I didn't ask for this,

but I choose this way.

I keep the rain

and destroy the rainbow,

after this life,

would I be still?

I see all of them

proud of being free,

I wish I am

none of it.

---

lost the battle

let me sink

into the deep ocean,

leaving reality and cruel world behind.

my heart drench with sins,

the soul slowly burn

and disappear in the air.

I can see the heaven

but I still hear the flames

calling out my name.

life is a journey,

the world is a stop by,

we all going

to the same destination.

if I can start again,

I won't waste it,

but they say it's too late,

the battle is over.

---

find my way

I don't know

why I'm falling,

I try to

find the reasons

behind every tears.

the world

can be really mean

and sometimes

can be really magical

that makes me 

believe in miracle.

I struggle,

I wonder

if all this,

worth this one life 

that is given to me?

I look at the sky

with prayers inside,

dear God,

please show me

as I am

trying to

find the way.

---

the sun

every morning is a new beginning

as the sun rise

on its very own,

I wake up too

to its sunlight.

Sunday's morning feels so cozy,

even the sky

can feel me

like how the droplets drop

together with my heart.

when there is no light

we will search for it,

when it is too bright

we want it to fade away

as much I would like

to be swipe away

like the sound

gone in the

midst of air.